He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
