I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
