I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
