yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I smell stomach acid.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
