i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
