I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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