I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think my moral compass just broke
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