WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
