I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
