I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
