I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
