it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
