I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
