if i can run in heels then i can drive
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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