I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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