Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
