For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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