I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
