we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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