ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
