i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
