I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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