Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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