i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I would fuck him just for his dog
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
