We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize