Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Operation Purity has been aborted
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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