btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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