I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
