i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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