True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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