nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
