We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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