Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
