i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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