Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
