Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
