You're so nebulous sometimes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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