What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101