i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi