tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?