Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
