Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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