Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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