you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
