so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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