Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
