Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
