He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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