Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
