Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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