I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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