Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
