Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
