and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
