Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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