Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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