White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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