in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
