i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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