i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
