I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
