I wish my penis had an off switch
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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