I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
