While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I still have a little drunk in my system
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
