yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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