I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
