That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
