i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
